Current projects, in reverse chronological order:
1) Lovely knitted baby blanket for a friend, expecting her first son: Obviously, this sort of thing is time sensitive and it was therefore absolutely necessary that I should start before finishing anything else. The instructions say "super easy" and "makes a great last-minute shower gift!" but don't believe it. I've been exhausting my poor fingers for a week now and have less than a foot of length. I don't think I'm that slow at knitting. The pattern lied, that's all.
2) Scrap quilt: I started this last winter, got all the squares cut out and sewn together, backing and batting basted, and knot-quilting started. And then, when it got too warm to sit under a pile of fabric every evening, I folded it up and stuck it in the back of my closet. I finished the knotting last month and purchased the binding fabric...which is now sitting in a Walmart bag under the end of my bed. I'll get to it eventually, but I need (1) several hours of uninterrupted time, during which I will not feel guilty that I'm not doing something legitimately useful and (2) plenty of uninhabited space in which to spread out my work. Both are hard to come by.
3) Hostess apron: I don't know what made me choose this pattern. It's completely useless. When I want an apron, I want an apron that will cover my entire front. Not one that starts at my waist, leaving my shirts exposed to tomatoes, oil, cleaning products, dust, or whatever else is flying about as I work. Anyway, I got the pieces all cut out and then realized that I was missing the lace trim (impractical, yes?) and could not proceed until I acquired said trim. That feat only took two years. So now, instead of a pile of fabric and pattern pieces, I have a pile of fabric, pattern pieces, and lace under my bed. I'll get to it eventually. Like, maybe when I figure out why I wanted to make it in the first place.
4) Pink scarf, green scarf, red and white striped scarf...: Boring. Besides that, I already have approximately 3,762 scarves filling the coat closet (and spilling out on to the floor every time someone tries to grab a jacket). They're destined to be gifts for some grateful individual who won't realize that they're just the victim of a decluttering effort.
In my defense, while these projects have been languishing--forgotten--in closets and under the bed, I've finished other things. Scarves and hats for all my girl cousins, scrapbooking pages galore, a bachelor's degree.... little things like that.