Monday, February 09, 2009

I'll be sure to include this in my next interview....

Here's a tip for anyone who doesn't like being misquoted in the newspaper:

When you're running late, stopping by school to drop off a paper before heading to work, do NOT smile at the friendly looking lady in the trenchcoat as you pass by at full speed.

If you disregard the first tip and commit the enormous faux pas of making friendly eye contact with said trench-coated female, do not reply when she says good morning. In short, disregard all usual rules of politeness and decorum. Brush her off. Give her the cold shoulder. (Insert brusque cliche of your choice.)

IF you make another mistake and allow the woman to engage you in conversation, and she asks if you would mind answering a few questions, don't stop to think, equivocate, or explain that you are freezing and running late. Just walk away as fast as your awesome little high-heeled lace-up boots can carry you.

IF (perish the thought) you are fool enough to answer the journalist's questions, well, I suppose you deserve what's coming. Whatever you do, though, do not answer her questions about Spring Break plans by saying that you will be working rather than traveling. She will twist your statement in a way that makes you sound like an unreasonable, greedy, money-grubbing Silas Marner-type... AND go on to mention your place of employment.

Case in point.

Ok, so I like to blow things out of proportion. The two sentences dedicated to me are not all that horrible or embarassing. I just really, really, really don't like being misquoted. And I don't remember saying anything like what the article suggests. This isn't the first time I've been misquoted in the paper. (Yes, I have been in the paper before. I'm, like, a celebrity or something.) Back in 2003 one of the FW papers did a story on homeschooling and my family was part of it. I don't remember much of the detail, but the journalist who spent a few days with us took almost everything I said to her completely out of context, and was even worse with my mother.

What can I say? Fame sucks.


Emily said...

I understand, Bethany. You are not going on spring break because you would rather work for any pittance from the most dull and esoteric job possible. And maybe do some laundry for recreation.

Bethany said...

Thanks, Emily. I knew I could count on you to understand.

I might have to fight Patrick for the privilege of doing laundry, but I'll definitely work in some bathroom-cleaning.... ;o)